I don't have any school age kids, but for lots of the traditional gift giving holidays, my husband and I set a $5 spending limit. Or, we give each other something that can't be purchased. I know this doesn't always work, but we've found it's a neat way to check in with one another instead of consuming another "thing". Plus you're not driving to the store (less carbon spent), not buying something cheap (and likely toxic), and it's a choice not a pressured high stress event.
On the kid front, I welcome any and ALL advice! I have t minus 3.5 years before I have to tackle this same topic and would love to get a head start!